Men say that women are nagging and miserable, while women say that men only have one thing on their misogynistic minds and are insensitive to their needs. It’s a question of misunderstanding, miscommunication and mystifying conclusions by both parties.
There is no quick fix, no formula, no blueprint to display and say, “Here I am, this is me, accept me for what I am.” Not at all, for after centuries of dealing with men, many women have become suspicious, jaded, wary.
Now on to the realities that every man should take heed of. It’s often been said that nice guys finish last, and good guys only win in the movies. It’s also been proven too, hence the old saying, “Women love bad men.” But apart from those home truths that have become cliché, there are many others that men should be aware of.
Now maybe back in the day when chivalry and civility were the order of the day, those rules may not have applied, but as Bob Dylan sang, “The times they are a changing.”
The first reality is, Nice men are used. That is so sad, for it’s natural for human beings to be nice to each other for the most part, and for men to be nice to women…for the most part, ulterior motives notwithstanding. But unfortunately, there are some women who take this characteristic for granted, and the more that a man is nice, is the more that she takes him for granted.
He lavishes stuff on her, never says no, never rejects, always caters to her whims, wants, needs and desires. The result is, she takes all that niceness for granted.
Shy men are ignored. That’s such a reality, and the old saying is, ‘Faint heart never won fair lady.’ Any man who is a shrinking violet and thinks that he can lurk in the shadows and not approach women, will be a very lonely man.
Weak men are abused. Another reality, as we all know that the world has no place for weak men.
A weak man is disrespected, abused, pushed around, cheated on, trampled. The same applies for soft men, and even though there is a subtle difference between being soft and being weak, many women do not differentiate, and treat both characteristics with equal contempt and disdain.
A soft man will avoid conflict, try to find a peaceful solution, makes peace, displays sensitivity, all of which many women will not tolerate but treat with loathing and contempt. In fact at times the cry for peace is met with hostility.
In contrast, ruthless men are respected. Is it better to be loved or respected? Almost all of the men polled said that respect was the priority. Sadly, to gain that respect, some men have to be ruthless.
That takes us back to the adage that women are drawn to bad powerful men, the cowboy type, the gangsta. Remember, it’s been said that power is the ultimate turn on
Now honesty is the best policy they say, but many men have learnt the hard way that being totally honest with their women often blows up in their faces.’
But does honesty and being gullible go hand in hand, should a man hold back, not show his hand? But how can that go into the making of a good relationship?
Loyal men are taken for granted. Another reality. Who’s a loyal man though? He’s the guy who never cheats on his woman, defends her every action even when she’s wrong, and forgives her indiscretions. But no good deed goes unpunished, for by doing all that, he’s often taken for granted. In her mind, she has him by the nose ring and she can now do anything and get away with it.
Despite the bravado, machismo and physicality of most men, it’s proven that many are emotional creatures. Most do not show it though, but put on a brave face, are stoic, stiff upper lip and all that, old chap, and never ever show even a modicum of emotion.
Unfortunately when men show their emotions the women sometimes throw it in their faces, seeing it as a weakness.. “Man up, stop sniveling.”
Now we see how complex relationships can be, especially in this new age world Many women no longer accept these realities of men who show any modicum of civility, sensitivity, being emotional or shyness. A new reality?
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